Tidal

It's been a while since I've blogged, or even felt like blogging. I'm not sure why I haven't been interested in blogging lately, when it was such an obsession of mine for a while.

Is it because I had a lot of followers on my old blog, and liked the audience?

...and now I'm on a different blog which nobody really knows about, so it's not as fun?

Maybe it's because I'm so caught up in living my life that I've slipped out of the usual 'absent-minded professor' mode which has helped me survive in the world.

I no longer work in a job which forces me to sit at a computer all day. This might explain, in part, my loss of interest. I'm sure my desire to blog will return.

I've also slipped into a kind of reading 'OCD' mode. When the boy is asleep, I feel like lying in bed and reading instead of sitting at the computer.

I've been borrowing piles of books from the library - sometimes life in the book is so gripping that the real world seems like a nuisance and a distraction!

I seem to get really emotionally involved in books. Having kids snaps you out of that reverie quick-smart, but at night, when he sleeps...

.. ahh, the sweet bliss of getting lost in other worlds, or other ways of seeing the world.

For me, creativity seems to be a very tidal thing... sometimes there's an outpouring and sometimes there's an influx. So. I'll go through a period of writing - thousands of words, every day. I'll be driving along, or washing dishes and forming words in my head and wishing that I could sit down and write.

I'll scribble sentences I like onto old ice cream napkins and shopping dockets so I won't forget them. People may look into my handbag and think I never clean it out. Looks deceive. That old chocolatey paper towel probably has some special words on it, and I would be very upset if I lost it. So, that's me when I'm in 'creative output' mode.

Then there are times like these - I'm aware that my writing takes on a very businesslike tone, not terribly interesting to read. I feel frustrated with my writing and blocked for ideas. These are the times when I tend to obsessively read everything I can get my hands on. If I like an author, I will read everything they've written. I read the sides of cereal boxes, local newspaper classified ads - pretty much everything that comes my way.

So, there's my creative 'output' time, and my creative 'influx' time.

I am never simultaneously in 'influx' and 'output' mode, and I can't force myself into either one.

In his book, 'On writing' (a 'how-to' book for aspiring writers), Stephen King recommends writing 1 000 words a day, every day, and making it a discipline. I admire this. Although Stephen King's writing isn't exactly my cup of tea, I admire his success as a writer and figure that anyone with such popular acclaim must have a few tricks up his sleeve - personal habits which aspiring writers would do well to follow.

My current way of creating writing and words is very haphazard - prolific one minute, slim pickings the next. I think I need to practice with discipline. I am working on my self discipline, which is improving all the time.

I wonder if it's too late to scrap my new years resolution and create a new one?

The one about family is still meaningful to me, but building self discipline is another thing I would like to develop. Good time management.

When I say 'Good Time Management,' I don't mean 'cramming-as-much-into-every-day-as-I-possibly-can-until-I'm-so-exhausted-I'm-forgetting-my-own-name.'

That was my style in 2008.

This year I want to be productive, pacing myself so I maximise my productivity without burning out.

I want to fill my days with meaningful activity. Whether I'm playing Lego with my boy or working on my own projects, I want to do it wholeheartedly. I want to be disciplined, so I can be productive and also have consistent energy, which is what I lacked last year.

Perhaps I can make this my resolution for the coming Chinese new year - the year of the Ox.

The year of the Earth Ox, actually.

Whether or not you believe in Chinese Astrology, I find that it is very useful to describe certain personalities and states of mind. Most people can relate to the astrological 'characters,' even if they don't believe the philosophy. For example, the 'hard working' Capricorn, the 'sensitive' Cancer, the 'dreamy' Pisces, the 'decadent' Taurus, the 'anal' Virgo etc.

The 'Earth Ox' personal style is exactly the kind I want to develop in myself this year. The 'earth ox' sounds like the kind of person I admire and look up to.


From Wiki:

The Ox is the sign of prosperity through fortitude and hard work. This powerful sign is a born leader, being quite dependable and possessing an innate ability to achieve great things. As one might guess, such people are dependable, calm, and modest. Like their animal namesake, the Ox is unswervingly patient, tireless in their work, and capable of enduring any amount of hardship without complaint.

Ox people need peace and quiet to work through their ideas, and when they have set their mind on something it is hard for them to be convinced otherwise. An Ox person has a very logical mind and is extremely systematic in whatever they do, even without imagination. These people speak little but are extremely intelligent. When necessary, they are articulate and eloquent.

People born under the influence of the Ox are kind, caring souls, logical, positive, filled with common sense and with their feet firmly planted on the ground. Security is their main preoccupation in life, and they are prepared to toil long and hard in order to provide a warm, comfortable and stable nest for themselves and their families. Strong-minded, stubborn, individualistic, the majority are highly intelligent individuals who don't take kindly to being told what to do.

The Ox works hard, patiently, and methodically, with original intelligence and reflective thought. These people enjoy helping others. Behind this tenacious, laboring, and self-sacrificing exterior lies an active mind.

The Ox is not extravagant, and the thought of living off credit cards or being in debt makes them nervous. The possibility of taking a serious risk could cause the Ox sleepless nights.

Ox people are truthful and sincere, and the idea of wheeling and dealing in a competitive world is distasteful to them. They are rarely driven by the prospect of financial gain. These people are always welcome because of their honesty and patience. They have many friends, who appreciate the fact that the Ox people are wary of new trends, although every now and then they can be encouraged to try something new.

It is important to remember that the Ox people are sociable and relaxed when they feel secure, but occasionally a dark cloud looms over such people and they engage all the trials of the whole world and seek solutions for them. Also the Ox people are all caring and loving but at times when you mess with them they will tear out in anger.